


I'm Ready Now

by A_Wild_Imposter



Series: Remember, remember, the 16th of November [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, Dream Smp, Exile, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Family, Flower Language, Fluff, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Songfic, This slowly turned into a vent fic, This took me one month, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), We die like Quackity during the execution, appreciate it pleas, it becomes ranboo centric towards the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wild_Imposter/pseuds/A_Wild_Imposter
Summary: He was going to get exiled. Again.He shouldn’t have messed with George’s house. He shouldn’t have messed around period. If he actually focused on rebuilding and being a good vice president, then none of this would happen.But here he was, packing his things. Before he will get exiled. He’s planning to leave the day before he’s supposed to. To spare the pain he will see on people’s faces, to not see that smug look on Dream’s face. To not see Tubbo’s pained face as he exiles his best friend.He just wished it could go back to the way it was. Before all these wars, before all this strife. He tried so hard to act like nothing too bad happened, like everything was fine. But it backfired so bad. It will just be like before, but only he will be alone. He isn’t gonna let Ranboo be exiled when he just got here, it was his fault and his fault alone.Techno was right, nothing good happens to heroes. And fate chose him to be the hero of this narrative.“Tommy?”Or: Tommy learns how to heal. However, fate has other plans.
Relationships: Background Original Female Characters/Original Female Characters, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit & Original Female Characters
Series: Remember, remember, the 16th of November [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031430
Comments: 57
Kudos: 261
Collections: Completed stories I've read, the writer's block's Secret Santa





	I'm Ready Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piteouspeculiarity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piteouspeculiarity/gifts).



> Another oneshot out whoo! This is for the secret Santa event in my discord server, so this is for you piteous.
> 
> Also I wrote this with the pre exile streams in mind. So, the stream where Tommy was exiled and onwards are not part of this oneshot.
> 
> Also join the discord server. We are a chaotic family and would love to have more members: https://discord.gg/89FMht3S
> 
> Sorry if it seems bad at some parts. I burned out while writing some parts of the oneshot, but I kept going. Tommy is too OOC here so be warned.  
> Also writing the last few scenes hurt me as much as it's going to hurt you guys.
> 
> Edit: I forgot to credit the person who made the song  
> The song is called Ready Now and it was made by Dodie

He was going to get exiled. Again. 

He shouldn’t have messed with George’s house. He shouldn’t have messed around period. If he actually focused on rebuilding and being a good vice president, then none of this would happen.

But here he was, packing his things. Before he will get exiled. He’s planning to leave the day before he’s supposed to. To spare the pain he will see on people’s faces, to not see that smug look on Dream’s face. To not see Tubbo’s pained face as he exiles his best friend.

This was what he feared when Tubbo became president. That this nation will tear them apart, and it did because he was so immature. Because Tubbo had too much responsibility for a teen. 

He just wished it could go back to the way it was. Before all these wars, before all this strife. He tried so hard to act like nothing too bad happened, like everything was fine. But it backfired so bad. It will just be like before, but only he will be alone. He isn’t gonna let Ranboo be exiled when he just got here, it was his fault and his fault alone.

Techno was right, nothing good happens to heroes. And fate chose him to be the hero of this narrative. 

“Tommy?”

He turned around and saw Ranboo at his door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked the enderman hybrid. Why would Ranboo come to his house in the middle of the night? There are a lot of mobs out there, it’s basically suicide to go out at this time. 

“Leaving with you,” Ranboo replied in a tone that it should be obvious. But it was not obvious to the blonde teen, in fact it was a surprise.

“What?! Why? You aren’t exiled, why are you coming with me?” he asked incredulously. Why would Ranboo willingly be exiled with him? He just got here, and he still has a bright future ahead of him. Why sacrifice all of that for him?

“Why? Because you’re gonna be alone out there! And you covered for me, I should take this punishment with you. It’s unfair that you’re the only one getting punished,” he explained, walking closer towards him.

“I covered for you because it was entirely my fault, you shouldn’t suffer the blame because of me. You have friends, a life, heck, even an ice cream shop to run with Fundy, you shouldn’t forfeit all of that for me,” he tried to reason with Ranboo. He’s not worth the life he had here. It’s his fault that they were in this mess in the first place, he had to take the fall.

“Look,” the hybrid sighed. “I appreciate what you did there, I really do, but you shouldn’t take the blame. It was my choice to go with you and grief George’s house, and it’s my choice to leave with you.” 

“What about Niki?” He asked. He’s trying to make him stay, he can’t let Ranboo ruin his own life because of what he did. He doesn’t want to weigh him down. “You found her again, surely you don’t want to lose her again?”

A brief look of hesitance was shown before he replaced it with a small smile, but his eyes conveyed sadness. “Niki was actually the one who suggested it.”

“Wh-what?” he can’t help saying, surprised. Why would Niki suggest her own brother to be exiled with him? Wouldn’t she ask him to stay with her, especially since they just got reunited.

“She told me what happened to Wilbur. She said she doesn’t want you to have the same fate. And I know you hate being alone, just from the stories I heard from her,” he said.

“But why you? Not her, or anyone else that isn’t new here?” the blonde can’t help but ask. 

“It’s because you need a friend to be with you out there. She would go, but she’s the glue of this entire nation. And the other options need to stay here in New L’manburg, so I volunteered,” the hybrid explained to him. 

There’s a lot to unpack from that statement, but the only question he asked was, “You consider me as a friend?” 

Ranboo smiled, “Of course I do. We are partners in crime, plus you took the blame when you didn’t have to.”

He felt tears well up in his eyes. Tommy hugged Ranboo tight, and cried. Ever since the wars, he forgot people can be kind. Ranboo reminded him that by going into exile with him. Niki reminded him that by willingly being separated with her brother again so that he won’t be alone. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled into Ranboo’s clothes. He has a lot more to say, but a ‘thank you’ is what he can manage right now.

“You’re welcome. After all, what are friends for?”

* * *

_You saw through me_

_All this time_

_I'd forgotten_

_People are kind_

* * *

It took some time to pack for the eventual exile. He was always sentimental, he can’t bring himself to properly move on. 

When they were packing, he would stop for a bit. Ranboo would always ask if he was okay, he would reply yes every time so that he doesn’t worry .

Once they finished packing, they started walking to the walls. He zoned out most of it, he doesn’t want to remember the agonizing walk of him leaving New L’manburg.

He zoned back in when Ranboo signalled him to stop. He looked and saw that they were at the bench. The bench he and Tubbo would usually hang out in. Just enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Why are we here? We’re supposed to be at the walls,” he asked his friend. 

“I know you were hurting while we were packing, and I thought we could just hang out here until you feel like you’re ready. Then we could leave,” Ranboo explained.

He felt like tearing up again. “Thank you,” he said to the hybrid again. 

“You’re welcome,” his friend replied. 

“Let’s sit down,” he said. 

Ranboo sat down first. Tommy grabbed the one remaining disc he had and put it in the jukebox. They both sat on the bench, just listening to the music. Appreciating each other’s company.

They left a few hours later, leaving most of the New L’manburg citizens wondering where they are.

* * *

_I was hurting_

_And you knew_

_So you showed me_

_What to do_

* * *

They stayed at a cave for shelter. 

It was getting dark and they were tired. Ranboo found a dark cave to stay in. He agreed hesitantly after seeing the cave.

It reminded him too much of Pogtopia, and Wilbur’s slow descent into insanity. He brushed off these thoughts because they needed shelter, and this was the only close place they could find.

Ranboo said he would go out to search for firewood before it gets really dark, leaving him all alone in a dark cave. Of course Ranboo asked if he wanted to go with him, but he declined saying someone needed to look after their stuff. The hybrid took that answer with slight reluctance and went out.

He was trying to not think about the cave that much, but it was hard. It reminded him of the ravine. 

The moment he thought that, he was having flashbacks about Wilbur. He could still hear him rambling about being the villains. But he didn't want to be the villain, he just wanted everyone to like him and not hate him. They probably all hate him now. Oh prime, he just gave Ranboo the perfect opportunity to ditch him. Why was he so stupid? Now he’s gonna die here all alone in a dark cave with no-

“Tommy? Are you okay?” 

The voice interrupted his thoughts, and let him zone back in. He saw Ranboo’s concerned face in front of him. 

“Y-yeah, I’m totally fine,” he managed to say. 

“I don’t think you are since I can see tears on your face.”

He touched his face and saw water. Was he really crying during that?

“Oh,” was what he managed to say.

Ranboo sighed and sat down next to Tommy. “I know you have some issues and you would rather not mention it, but I think you need to talk about it.”

“No I don’t,” he argued.

“Listen Tommy,” he said, trying to make eye contact with him. “We can just talk. You could rant to me, talk about the sky, anything really. And I would listen. Heck, you could even start rambling about different kinds of seeds and I would listen. You could tell me everything and I would still listen.”

Tommy stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “I don’t think I’m in a talking mood right now.”

“Okay,” Ranboo sighed. “Just know I will always listen.”

“Okay,” he replied.

* * *

_You said, "I will listen_

_Tell it all_

_When you're finished_

_We'll talk more"_

* * *

_“Tommy...let’s be the bad guys!”_

He woke up with a start. Why does that line have to run through his mind every time he goes to sleep? 

He tries to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. He started staring blankly at the cave ceiling in hopes he will sleep eventually. 

Before he knew it, morning came and he did not sleep at all. From the corner of his eye, he sees Ranboo get up. 

He still stares up to the ceiling, preventing any of the thoughts from last night to come back. He doesn’t want it to come back, he would rather have this feeling of emptiness than that. 

Ranboo turned around and saw Tommy just staring emptily towards the ceiling. 

“Nightmare?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” the blonde replied back, turning around to face the hybrid. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked again. 

“Not really,” he answered immediately. He doesn’t want to relive that moment again. More than he has to at least.

“You don’t have to tell me the specifics, you can be as vague as possible, it will help. I promise.”

He contemplates this. He doesn’t want to let down his new best friend, but he really doesn’t want to relive it. He was about to say no until-

 _“You’re selfish,”_ he hears Tubbo’s voice ring in his head. That’s right he’s not selfish. He’ll cooperate with Ranboo. Personal feelings be damned.

He opened his mouth and started talking. At first it was vague, just like he said. But the more he talked, the more words started tumbling out. 

He started talking about memories, his fears, doubts, everything that is bothering him. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, but it feels like a dam has been broken and everything is just rushing forth.

By the end of it, he was a mess in his friend’s arms. His tears were already dried but he still looked like a mess.

“Thank you for listening,” he whispered to Ranboo once again. Thanking him for his friendship, for everything actually.

Ranboo smiled down at him. 

“After all, what are friends for?”

* * *

_But I didn't know how_

_So we took it in turns_

_And to my surprise_

_We found my words_

* * *

It’s been a few months since they left New L’manburg.

It took a lot of time to get back on their feet, trying to get used to the fact they have no permanent home yet. 

It was hard to avoid mobs at night and still find a place to sleep. They started avoiding caves for his sake, only using them as a last choice. 

Eventually, they found a secluded spot in the forest and started building their base there. At first it was a pile of wooden planks, just big enough to fit both of them, now it looks like a nice house. It looked like a homey cottage he imagined in those bedtime stories. They had farms surrounding the house, taking turns on tending the field while the other went out to hunt or mine for stuff.

After that heart to heart in the cave, he started feeling better. He still had panic attacks, but Ranboo would always help him.

He never felt this free and happy in a while. Sure, there were some pitfalls and troubles in their way, but he never thought exile would be so freeing. 

L’manburg felt like a cage sometimes. Even though he fought for its independence, he felt trapped. He was happier during the few months away from L’manburg than he ever was in the nation. The more time he spent away, he became more aware of its flaws. 

Even though he felt so happy away, he would still go back when his exile is over. He misses the people there. Niki, Tubbo, Fundy, Jack, Phil, Fundy, and Quackity. He’ll still keep living in this cottage, but he will go back to visit and hang out with the people there. 

It seems like he isn’t the hero of this story anymore. And he’s okay with that. Anything to keep this peace forever.

He looked at the sun on the horizon and saw it was setting already. He gathered the wood he has been collecting for the past hour and went back home.

 _Home_ , he muses to himself. A term he never used in a long time. For the first time, things seem to be looking up.

* * *

_Feet firm on the ground_

_We stood hand in hand_

_The world seemed to tell me_

_That I have a plan_

* * *

They found a village a week ago.

Smalll villages like these are rare. Due to big factions like Dream’s, people tend to flock there rather than make their own settlements. 

Ranboo came home one day saying he spotted a village deep into the forest, around seven hours away. 

Personally, he didn’t want to go to the village. The thought of going overwhelmed him. He didn’t want to deal with new people, he didn’t want to break this stable routine they made for the past few months. Ranboo understood that. He waited for him to be ready, kept on assuring him that it’s okay to not be ready yet. 

He would ask the blonde every morning if he was ready, and when he said no, he won’t ask about it again.

This time, he was ready. 

They started packing food enough for the trip and the emeralds they managed to find just in case they found something worth buying.

Once they were finished, they looked at the forest in silence.

“Ready?” Ranboo asked him, just to make sure he was okay on going to the village.

“I’m ready now,” he said with conviction he didn’t have in awhile.

They started walking.

And as they walk, the discs Tommy once held dear, now collects dust in the bottom of a chest.

* * *

_Together we sang_

_I'm ready now_

* * *

They finally reached the village after a few hours of hiking. 

The village was small, only having at most 7 houses scattered around the place. But it looked lively compared to New L’manburg. 

They walked towards the village. The villagers were nice and greeted them into their village, saying that they haven’t had any newcomers for a while and they were glad they visited.

The villagers were so welcoming that it felt a bit homey to be here. Tommy hasn't felt this welcomed ever since joining Dream’s faction, it almost made him tear up.

They wandered around the shops until Tommy caught something of interest at the corner of his eye. He turned around and saw a beautiful potted set of flowers. 

Unbeknownst to most people back at the faction, he loved flowers. He loved taking care of flowers, something about it was so interesting to him. He stopped taking care of flowers once the violence started. He already had the threat of his pets’ lives hanging over him, he didn’t want his plants to be the same.

He tugged at Ranboo’s sleeve to get his attention, the hybrid turned to him with an eyebrow raised. 

“Can I check on the flower stand?” he asked quietly. 

“Sure, I was going to check on that store over there. We can meet up back at the village square,” he replied back.

He nodded back and they went their separate ways.

He went over to the flower stand and saw a multitude of flowers everywhere. But the one that interested him the most was the bouquet of alliums and dandelions. It looked beautiful and appealing.

The store owner must have seen him staring.

“Beautiful right?” the store owner remarked.

“Yeah,” he agreed with her. 

“There were a lot of alliums and dandelions around here, so I decided to combine them for a bouquet,” she explained.

Soon, they talked about flowers for a long time. Types, color, how to take care of them, anything really. Tommy hasn’t had a passionate talk like this for a long time, people usually told him to shut up. 

He heard Ranboo call him from the distance saying it was time to go. 

“That was a fun talk, but I gotta go soon,” he said to the woman.

“You know what?” the aqua haired woman said. “You can have this bouquet of flowers, free of charge.”

“W-what?” he said, eyes wide in surprise. 

“You heard me,” she said with a grin as she gave the potted plant to Tommy. Tommy took the pot gently, still looking surprised.

“Why though?” he asked the store owner.

“I haven’t had a discussion about flowers in a long time. And I don’t think this village knows how to take care of a flower without my help, I still love them to death, but no one has a green thumb here. Plus, I think you’re good enough to take care of flowers,” she explained.

He felt happy that someone called him good at something. “Thank you,” he said happily to the woman.

“It’s no problem, you’re a nice kid. I hope you visit the village again, it gets lonely sometimes to be the only knowledgeable flower person here,” she said with a smile.

“Will do,” he responded. “Wait, before I go what’s your name?”

“It’s Emily,” she said, holding out her hand to shake.

Tommy shifted the potted plant to the other arm so that he would shake Emily’s hand. “My name is Tommy.”

“It was nice to meet you Tommy,” she said as she let go of her hand. 

“Thanks,” he replied with a small smile. 

“Now I think your tall friend is waiting for you, don’t want to keep him waiting,” she commented.

“See you soon Emily,” he said as he started to walk towards Ranboo’s general direction.

“See you soon, Tommy,” she replied back.

Once he and Ranboo met back up, the hybrid gave him a slight smile at the potted plant. They both started heading home, Tommy securely holding on to the plant. It was a silent journey, a comfortable silence.

“Y’know Tommy,” Ranboo said out of the blue while they were walking. “You changed.”

“What do you mean?” he said, taking his eyes off the plant. What did he mean that he changed? He still felt like the same person, so what part of him changed.

“You are happier, more open and genuine. That loud and brash facade I saw back in New L’manburg just faded away over the past few months. Now, you look less insecure than you were before, more carefree. And I’m happy that you’re letting yourself free,” he explained.

He contemplated this for a moment. Did he really change that much? Now that he thinks about it, he felt much lighter without worrying about appearing to be strong constantly. To assure everyone that he isn’t weak at all in a way to convince himself. To not be constantly paranoid over being hurt.

“Guess I really changed, huh?” he said in a light tone. Yeah, he did change, and he likes being this way.

“Yeah,” Ranboo responded back. 

They walked the rest of the way in comfortable and content silence.

* * *

_Something new_

_Something strange_

_Ten feet taller_

_I had changed_

* * *

They started visiting the village often ever since then.

Every other day, they would go to the village and explore or just help out the villagers. They started to make a path from their cottage to the village with how often they visit.

Emily would visit their cottage sometimes, just to hang out with them.

The duo became fast friends with the villagers. The children would always ask Ranboo to carry them due to his tall height. They would always rope Tommy into their games, and he would always have fun doing so.

He’s still friends with Emily, always talking about flowers and other stuff whenever he visits. Ranboo also made friends with the village healer, who was named Nova, due to his fascination with potions. 

Ranboo would practice making potions back in the cottage, just like him tending to his garden of flowers he took care of. 

Everytime he goes to the village, he would bring back a flower to add to his garden. And he loved every second he spent on that garden. 

He woke up that day, and saw that Ranboo was nowhere to be found. He concluded that he might be in the village making potions with Nova. So, he did his normal routine, eating breakfast, tending to his flower gift from Emily, and headed towards the village.

It was suspiciously quiet on his way there. Usually he can hear noise from the village on the way there, but no, it was silent except some animal sounds. 

Once he entered the village, he was surprised with a flurry of colors. 

They all greeted him a happy birthday, as he stood there shell shocked. 

For the next few hours, it was a haze to him. His body was playing the games, but his mind was not at all there. He knew the village was celebrating his birthday with him, but why?

He went back to the sidelines as they played another round. He was still in his thoughts when Emily approached him.  
  
“Nice surprise, eh?” she said to Tommy, elbowing him in a playful manner.

“How and why?” he asked his friend. 

“Well for the how, Ranboo told Nova a week earlier that your birthday was coming up, the entire village heard and started planning with him for your birthday,” she started off.

“For the why,” she continued with a gentle tone staring at him with a gentle expression, “we heard that it’s your first birthday in exile, away from your friends and family. And I know how much you miss them with how you talk about them during our talks. So, we decided to throw a party for you, and eventually Ranboo, because you two wormed your way through everyone’s hearts.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yep, you even managed to worm your way into my wife’s heart. And that’s not an easy feat,” she remarked offhandedly.

“What?!” he exclaimed in surprise. 

Emily’s wife, Filia, is the village blacksmith. She’s about his height. She had black hair and dark, unsettling purple eyes. Filia, in his opinion, is Emily’s complete opposite. He helped out a few times, but every time, he gets immediately scared due to her intimidating aura. Doesn’t help that she is in the arm's reach of a weapon all the time. 

“She is intimidating as fuck, and every time I go there I looked like I pissed my pants. How did she become soft around me? Is that even soft?” he questioned.

She makes a prolonged ‘hmm’ sound to signal she was thinking. “I think it’s the fact you kept going back no matter how scared you are,” she says at last.

“What do you mean?”

“Usually when travelers around your age would visit her, they don’t come back and actively avoid her,” she started off. “You on the other hand, you still visit her blacksmith to help out even though you’re scared out of your mind. My wife is a softie deep inside, so seeing you still try to help out even though you’re scared of her just tugged at her heartstrings.”

“Huh,” he says quietly. He doesn’t know what to say to that. 

“I almost forgot!” she exclaimed. He saw the woman rummage through her satchel for something. 

“There it is,” she says to herself and pulls out a purple flower crown. 

“Here’s my gift for you,” she says as she gives the flower crown to Tommy. 

He admires the flower crown. He could see lilacs and lavenders weaved through the branches. The back part of the crown had a bright purple ribbon tied to it. The crown looks like something out of those fantasy picture books he used to read. 

He puts the flower crown on his head.

“The flowers won’t wilt ever, I asked Nova for a potion for that. So, it will forever remain in perfect condition,” she explained. “So, do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” he said, liking the feeling of the crown on his head. “Why the purple color scheme though? Not that I don’t like it, I’m just curious.”

“Well purple symbolizes royalty. And royalty, to me, means someone important and confident,” she explains to him.

He opened his mouth to protest, to say he isn’t that important, but one look from Emily silenced him.

“I know you have some self worth issues. I may not know the full depth of what happened back in the faction, but I want you to know that you are important. That you are enough,” Emily told him. 

“Okay,” he said silently, looking at his shoes.

“Chin up prince,” she nudged him gently. “Your crown is slipping.”

He looked up and saw Emily’s smiling face. 

“That’s better, I want you to do something,” she said.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I want that flower crown to remind you that you are important and help you be confident. So during those days, you can look at the crown and remind yourself that you are important.”

“I can do that,” he said. _Yeah, I can do that_ , he thought to himself. He barely got any gifts during his time on the faction, so he treasured each one deeply. This flower crown will be no different.

“Now enough of the depressed talk, it’s a party! More importantly your party. Let’s have fun,” she exclaimed. She pulled him back into the bulk of the party.

_You are important. You are enough._ Emily’s words rang through his head the entire time. Before, Tommy wouldn’t believe those words. Now, he can start to believe it.

* * *

_I believe you_

_I'm not wrong_

_Oh it suits me_

_To feel strong_

* * *

Ever since that party, he felt more confident in himself. 

He still wore that flower crown, never taking it off unless putting on a helmet. 

Just like Emily said, he felt better, more at peace at himself. He still had his pitfalls, but he had people to take care of him.

It had been a long time since he felt this loved and cared for. He doesn’t think about how long though.

He spent more time with Filia, trying to talk to her and such. Through some of his trademark stubbornness, he learned that Filia was from another village. The way she said that made him leave that topic untouched.

They talked about other things though. Like how she’s been taught how to use a sword at a young age, having fighters as siblings. When he heard that she had siblings, they started talking about problems of being the youngest child and annoying older siblings with a tone of fondness. Laughing about antics they and their siblings did.

It struck him on how similar they both are, maybe that’s a factor on how they become fast friends.

He was hanging out with Emily, teaching him how to make flower crowns, until Ranboo came and told Tommy that Nova is calling both of them. 

He asked his hybrid friend if he knows why on the way. Ranboo shrugged in response.

They entered the small house at the end of the village. They saw Filia and Nova overseeing a map plastered all over the table.

“Nova? I got Tommy like you asked,” Ranboo said to Nova.

“Good, Filia and I were just discussing. Come join us,” she said, blue eyes still trained on the map as she gestured to them to come closer.

“About what?” he asked. He looked at the map and saw it was the map for the village and areas surrounding it. There are lots of colored markings everywhere.

“We’re trying to find ways to easily get potion ingredients, winter is fast approaching and we need to stock up on healing and regeneration potions before we get snowed in here,” Nova explained to the two teens.

“What has it got to do with us though?” Ranboo asked, and he couldn’t help and agree with him. 

“Aside from Filia here, no one is a good enough fighter. Filia has been training some people, but they aren’t good enough to fight against mobs yet. We need at least 2-3 people to go and get ingredients. You two are the closest thing we have to fighters, considering you were able to survive the wilderness before you got here” she said.

“Sure I can go, how about you Tommy?” Ranboo asks.

“I guess it’s okay,” he replied. He loves the peaceful time during his exile that he didn’t get to experience much in L’manburg, but he missed fighting mobs. Having a sword in his hands, the adrenaline rush he feels, he misses it a bit.

“Well that settles it, we can go in a few days,” Filia said. “We found a swamp that is a few days’ trip from here, we can try to find ghast tears and glistering melons in the witch’s hut.”

The next few days were spent preparing for the trip to the swamp. They spar sometimes to get into fighting shape.

They shared their diamond gear when they realized the village only had iron tools. Apparently, they only had a small amount of diamonds, so they aren’t able to make some semblance of diamond gear. Add to the fact that they don’t have obsidian to make a nether portal so netherite is out of the picture too. 

They packed some necessities for the trip, food, water, etc. He included the purple anemone flower bracelet Emily gave him. She said to consider a protection charm for the trip.

The days went past and it’s finally time to go.  
  
They were prepared, they had a mix of diamond and iron gear, and shields to protect themselves from arrows. Everything will be fine.

* * *

Everything was a disaster.

Everything started going downhill on their way back.

They managed to get some ghast tears, nether warts, and golden nuggets from the witch’s hut they found. The place seemed deserted, no witches in sight. They shrugged it off and started making their way back to the village.

They were suddenly ambushed by a coven of witches and some other mobs when they were about to exit the swamp.

They were doing fine, great even. Aside from the few scratches. That is until he saw a weird colored splash potion going to the direction of Ranboo’s back.

He pushed Ranboo away and took the hit before he fully processed what he did. He suddenly felt so weak that his legs stopped working. He collapsed and his body felt like it’s on fire. Every little movement made him feel like someone was stabbing him repeatedly. 

“Tommy!” he heard Ranboo shout, at least he thought he did. It feels like someone put wool over his ears. 

“Tommy are you there?” Ranboo asked. He opened his eyes (Did he close his eyes? He doesn’t remember.) and saw his friends' worried face.

“Hurts,” he mumbled. He can’t feel anything other than pain. What was in that potion? It feels like the result of a poison, harming, and weakness potion smashed together.

He heard his friend breathe out a sigh of relief. “We’ll have to move to a tree cover, can you move?” 

He shook his slightly, wincing when he did so. 

“Okay, I’ll have to carry you, brace yourself,” he heard Ranboo say before he picked him up bridal style. He choked down a cry of pain once he was moved.

He saw that Filia wasn’t with them. “Filia?” he asked quietly.

“She went back to the hut to try to brew a healing or regeneration potion for you, we’ll have to wait here until she gets back.” 

Ranboo put him down gently next to the tree trunk, and settled next to him.

A few hours went by and he started to feel even worse than before. He feels light headed and a headache is starting to form. His body feels like it’s been burned alive. 

“Am I going to die?” he muttered. It certainly feels like it. He just wants the pain to stop. 

“You’re not going to die,” Ranboo said with certainty. 

“How do you know?” he asked.

“Because everything will be alright, it has to.”

“I don’t want to die,” the blonde said in a small voice. “But I’m so tired.”

“You aren’t going to die. Once we heal you up, we can go back to the village. Or to the cottage if you want. And we could just hang out and laugh at stupid things” he said with a desperate tone. 

“Can we laze around in the clearing near the cottage?” he asks in a hopeful tone. That would be nice, just lying down in grass feeling nothing but peace. 

“Yeah we can do that,” Ranboo replied. _I guess I can do that_ , he thinks to himself.

Suddenly, he feels like something is rising from his throat. He started coughing a bit, until he started coughing out blood.

He feels lightheaded again. He hears Ranboo shouting, but he isn’t sure. He feels his eyes drooping, until he plunges into darkness.

The last thing he saw was the purple anemone bracelet covered in blood, making it red.

* * *

_You said "I will listen_

_Tell me it all_

_You don't like the ending_

_Then we'll find one that's yours_

* * *

It’s been a month ever since that trip.

He was force fed a healing potion when he was knocked out. He stayed knocked out the entire trip to the village.

He woke up the next day still feeling like shit but less than before. Nova has been working on finding what’s wrong with him.

After a few days of research, she doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. It seems like the potion effect is eating him up from the inside. Every time they fed him a healing potion or a regeneration potion. He would feel better, but the pain would be back after a few days.

They tried a golden apple from Filia’s stock, and it produced the same results. He told Ranboo to get one of the enchanted golden apples he had. It worked for a while, but 2 weeks later the pain came back even worse. 

He hasn’t eaten much during this time. He kept on throwing up whatever he ate. He probably will die from starvation before the potion does.

He heard that Ranboo is taking care of his garden back at home with the help of Emily.

The villagers always kept him company. Especially Emily, Filia, and Ranboo. Emily would always bring him new flowers at his bedside every two weeks. The three of them would always talk to him and have a conversation. Always ignoring the fact that he will probably die since there was no cure for this illness.

He was admiring the almond blossom and butterfly weed bouquet that Emily gave him when he heard the door open and saw Ranboo. “Hi Ranboo,” he greeted his friend.

They talked about lighthearted things. He doesn’t remember much of the conversation due to living in the moment. 

They settled into comfortable silence. He liked this, he wished it can be like this forever. But the universe isn’t kind to heroes, he knows this firsthand. Once a hero, always a hero.

“Ranboo?” he calls his friend out. 

“Yeah?” his friend replies back.

“Can you do something for me when I’m gone?” he asked steadily. He’s surprised his voice didn’t waver when he said that.

“What do you mean ‘when you’re gone’?” Ranboo asked in a strained voice. He knew that his friend knew what he meant. Ranboo is just denying it.

“You know what I mean Ranboo,” he said.

There was some tense silence until he heard a resigned ‘yeah’ from his friend.

“When I’m gone, I want to be buried here,” he said dropping a bombshell on Ranboo

“What? I thought you would want to be buried in L’manburg,” his friend asked, much calmer than what Tommy expected.

“I realized how unhealthy it was to cling to the past,” he stated. “Yeah I love L’manburg, but the more I think about it, the more I realize L’manburg has more bad memories than good memories,” he took a deep breath, preparing to say more. Talking easily tired him out these days.

“And as much as I hate to say it, I had more good memories here in the village than in L’manburg. Actual good memories, none that are tinged with sadness every time I look back on them. I can finally rest in a place where I know for certain that won’t be plunged into war so easily. A place where I know without a doubt that people loved me and will miss me,” he finally explained to his friend.

“Okay, I promise,” Ranboo said with understanding. Tommy breathed a sigh in relief at not having to debate with his friend on this.

“Can you also give my purple flower crown to Tubbo when you see him? Along with a note I’ll make?” he requested again.

“Sure.”

“Thanks Ranboo.”

“After all, what are friends for?” Ranboo said with a strained smile and tone.

* * *

_Oh, how did you know_

_That's all we need_

_A promise of hope_

_Is enough to feel free_

* * *

As the days passed, Tommy started deteriorating before their eyes.

It hurt to see a boy full of light and energy be reduced to this wilted flower. And it hurt more to know they can’t do anything about it.

Every single day, Ranboo has been tormented with the knowledge that it was his fault that the young blonde is like this. If he was faster, if he was more observant, then Tommy would still be okay. That he won’t be suffering. He knows Tommy forgives him, but he can’t stop the thoughts.

What hurt more is that Tommy’s exile is over in just a few days. His 18th birthday. The knowledge that he probably won’t live long enough to be an adult. Not able to live long enough to see his old friends and family one more time before departing from this earth like his brother. 

When it seems that Tommy might pass on any time, he stayed at Emily’s and Filia’s house to be near him. The couple allowed him to stay in the guest bedroom.

The villagers already said their goodbyes to him. They respected that the three of them were the closest to Tommy and let them be alone with him. 

The three of them sat by his side again. Emily is sobbing against Filia, who is teary-eyed herself. Tommy’s laboured breaths and Emily’s sobs filled the silence.

Ranboo looked at the eyes of his first friend in Dream's faction. He was told stories by his sister Niki (He hasn’t realized how much he missed her) about a young boy filled with so much passion and fire in his eyes, he could lead revolutions if given the chance. A boy who never gave up on what he thinks matters the most.

Now, he only sees the eyes of a tired boy who grew up too fast. A boy who had a chance of childhood, but was snatched away by fate. A boy who looked resigned to his fate, and was waiting to let go. To finally rest and be free from the chains of fate.

He still had the purple flower crown on his head. The one he will eventually give to Tubbo. He looked like a prince with it on. With the lily flowers and lavenders on his bedside table, he looks like a prince of nature. 

“Hey Tommy,” he said weakly. 

“Hey Ranboo,” he heard Tommy quietly reply.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“I feel tired, and a bit in pain. I wish I could rest now.”

He choked down a sob when he heard that. He wishes he could just take away his pain, he wishes he was the one who took that potion-.

“Hey, stop that,” Tommy quietly reprimanded him as if he knew what he was thinking. “I chose to take that potion.”

He gripped one of Tommy’s (It’s too thin) hands. “I know, I just don’t wa-want to l-lose you. I do-don’t want to say good-goodbye,” he feels his tears on his face. He hasn’t realized he was crying already. 

“It’s not a goodbye Ranboo,” he saw Tommy give him a smile. “It’s more of a see you later.”

“I’ll mi-miss you, Tom-tommy,” he whispers to him.

“I’ll miss you too Ranboo. The important thing this time is that at least I knew I was loved and will be missed.”

They held hands for the rest of the night. Ranboo feeling the fading heartbeat of his best friend.

At 3 o’clock in the morning of April 9, Tommy took his final breath and left the land of the living peacefully. For the first time in a long time, he was finally at peace.

* * *

_Feet firm on the ground_

_We stood hand in hand_

_And I told the world_

_That I have a plan_

* * *

Everything was a blur ever since Tommy’s death.

The villagers held a wake for Tommy before burying him. It was the village’s tradition to have a wake for a week before burying the body. To give people a sense of closure before burying the person. 

He doesn’t know what he did during the wake, all he knows is that he didn’t spend much time around the body. His friend looks like he’s just having a peaceful sleep. It gives him too much hope that he’s still alive when it’s clear he’s gone.

He also doesn’t remember much of the funeral (They buried his body near the cottage). He felt detached the entire time, he didn’t feel anything. Although he heard from Emily that he started sobbing when they started lowering the coffin, dropping white lilies onto the coffin. He’s not sure though.

2 days after the burial, he went back to the cottage to start packing up stuff to go back to L’manburg.

He tried to push the thought of his best friend gone by thinking of the happy memories he can make with his sister back in L’manburg. He felt something while thinking about the memories he’ll make soon, something other than the numbness. The door to Tommy’s room remained untouched.

Time flew by quickly, he started making a meal for himself. Still preoccupied with memories.

“Hey Tommy, what do you want to do once we arrive at L’manburg?” he asked absentmindedly, still focused on his food.

He received no answer from the energetic blonde. He looked up and saw an empty chair where Tommy would usually sit.

“Oh, yeah. He’s not here,” he said to himself. He was so caught up with the memories that he forgot about his friend who died. 

He touched his cheek and saw it was wet with tears. _Oh, I’m crying_ , he thought to himself. 

It felt like a dam broke inside of him. He spent the rest of the day sobbing and grieving for his first friend. 

Emily found him slumped over a table looking miserable the next day. She comforted him, making him miss his even more sister because she reminds her so much of Niki. 

It took him a month to feel remotely better. To feel good enough to go back to L’manburg. Emily and Filia volunteered to go with him, despite the numerous protests from him. 

It took him a week to pack everything. He wasn’t able to go into Tommy’s room without breaking down, so Filia and Emily did it for him. 

Emily found a box under Tommy’s bed. They opened it and found two flower crowns and a couple of letters. One for Niki and one for him. It seemed like he was planning to make everyone a flower crown, but he didn’t get the time. 

He admired the flower crown made for him. It had white, light red, and light pink flowers with a greenish branch connecting them all. _White peruvian lilies, light pink roses, and red gladioli_ , he heard Emily say. He put the crown on and never took it off. 

There was a note with it, but he can’t bring himself to read it now. He put the flower crown and note he’s supposed to give to Tubbo in the box.

Before they left, he visited Tommy’s grave. Just talking to it as if the boy was really there. Before he left, he placed the allium and dandelion bouquet, the first plant he got in this village, on his grave.

“See you later Tommy,” he said to the grave before leaving.

“You ready?” Filia asked him.

“I’m ready now,” he replied with the certainty he didn’t have ever since Tommy's death.

They started their journey to L’manburg. To the place where Tommy should have called home. He’s ready to go back home without Tommy at his side.

* * *

_Together we sang_

_I'm ready now_

* * *

It’s been almost 2 months since the exile was over, Ranboo and Tommy aren’t back yet.

Tubbo regrets his decision on exiling Tommy every single day. It haunts him in every moment. He shouldn't have prioritized his nation over Tommy. His friend (Can he even call him that?) was still dealing with the death and betrayal of his two brothers. 

For the past two years, it has been peaceful. No bloodshed, no war. Dream fulfilled his promise and took down the obsidian wall. Techno hasn’t attacked and what he heard, he was in retirement. He can enjoy this peace, he only wished that Tommy had been with his side while it was happening.

From his office, he sees figures heading towards L’manburg. He gets excited, maybe it’s them.

He goes to the entrance and recognizes one of the figures as Ranboo. They’re back!

“Ranboo!” he calls out enthusiastically from the entrance. He ran towards the hybrid and gave him a hug, who still is a full foot taller than him. He missed Ranboo even though he doesn’t know him that much.

“Heya Tubbo,” he heard Ranboo greet him back. 

He let go from the hug and saw there are two people with him. 

“Who are they?” he asked the hybrid.

“Oh, these are friends. This is Emily and Filia. Guys, this is Tubbo,” Ranboo introduced them.

The aqua haired woman said hello in a cheerful manner, in which he returned with the same energy. The raven haired woman just gave a half-hearted wave.

He realized he hadn't seen Tommy with them. Fearing the worst, he asked Ranboo, “Where’s Tommy?”

He saw Ranboo tense up at the question. Emily and Filia grimaced, and turned away.

“Ranboo?” he asked again. Tubbo probably knows what happened, but he doesn’t want it to be true. 

“I’m sorry Tubbo,” was his reply. That’s all he needs to know. Tommy died, and it’s his fault. He sent him off to die. He didn’t even say goodbye to him. 

He felt someone hug him, but he can’t tell. He broke down in the person’s arms as he mourned the friend he sent off to die.

* * *

Ranboo found Tubbo at the bench.

Tubbo ran off after he finished breaking down. Which is understandable. He just learned that his best friend died.

He sat down next to Tubbo. “It’s not your fault,” he said to him. 

“How? I just let him die away from his home, away from his family and friends,” he heard the young president say with a strained voice.

“Tubbo, he was happy where he died. He found a new home, something that isn’t L’manburg.”

“B-but we fought everything for L’manburg, why isn’t it home to him?” he asked, confused.

“It’s because you fought in wars, no child or teen has to go through that. L’manburg reminded Tommy too many bad memories.”

He could still see the confusion on Tubbo’s face. He still doesn’t understand, and there’s nothing he can do now when he’s still grieving. Heck, he’s still grieving. He’s barely holding himself together during this talk.

He took out the flower crown and note Tommy gave him from his pack. “Tommy wanted you to have this,” he said to Tubbo.

“What is it?” the brunet asked.

“A flower crown and a letter from Tommy,” he replied.

Tubbo took both items gently and stared at it as if it can give him all the answers in the universe.

He has a feeling that this might be personal for Tubbo. So, he walks away.

* * *

Tubbo admires the flower crown. It’s the last thing he has from Tommy.

There looks to be two different kinds of purple flowers weaved with the branches. There is a bright purple ribbon tied to the back of the crown.

He puts it aside in favor of the note Tommy wrote for him. He opens it up before he gets any second doubts. 

He sees Tommy’s messy scrawl and laughs a bit. Tommy always had terrible handwriting.

_Dear Big T,_

_Hey Tubbo, long time no see eh? I probably passed on by the time you get this and I just want you to know it’s not your fault. I look back and agree that my exile was the best choice for L’manburg. I messed up and it’s my own fault that I was exiled. I forgive you._

_Don’t worry, I was happy in my exile. I healed mentally, learned some new things, being able to enjoy my old habits, making new friends, and many more. I haven’t felt this happy and carefree before the disc fiasco. So stop beating yourself up for exiling me. I felt free in exile, so don’t regret that decision._

_The flower crown I gave to you was a birthday gift to me from a friend I made during exile. She told me that purple means royalty, and royalty means, to her, is someone who’s important and confident. She told me to let the crown remind myself that I am important, that I will be confident. It was a source of strength to me constantly, and I want you to have it._

_I know being President while grieving for me will be hard, so I want this crown to give you strength. To tell you to never give up. Maybe something to remember me by. I hope you achieve the peace I had one day._

_I’ll see you one day, maybe somewhere among the stars. Don’t visit me too soon, I want you to have the full life that I wasn’t able to have._

_Chin up Prince, your crown is slipping._

_Love,_

_Tommy_

Tubbo felt tears streaming down his cheeks when he read the letter. Tommy has really changed during this exile, and he was sad that he wasn’t with him during this time. 

He put the letter down, making sure not to ruin it. He picked up the crown and put it on.

He knows it will take time to accept his death, and it will take even longer to forgive himself, but he can one day.

He folded the letter and put it neatly in his pocket, and started walking away. One day, he will achieve peace, only if he tries.

At least he knows that his friend is at peace and playing among the stars. Finally allowed to be a boy again. That's all he wanted for his friend.

* * *

“C’mon Blake! I want to show you that secret house thingy found the other day!”

“But it’s deep into the forest! Won’t Mom and Ma be upset? They said not to wander deep into the forest!”

“It has a path lined with purple flowers! We won’t get lost!”

“If you’re sure…”

“If you’re really that paranoid, we can leave a sign around here. So that our moms know we followed the flower path.”

“Okay…”

Blake pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and gave it to his twin Ella. His twin grabbed it and proceeded to make a sign.

It’s been 9 years since they found the village and basically get adopted by their moms. They were seven when they were found. And ever since then, they have been happy and carefree. Something their younger selves didn’t know when they were too busy surviving.

It is a nice and happy village to grow up in. They were so nice and caring compared to the people they met during their lives as street rats. This village is what reminds both of them that people can be kind. 

Emily and Filia, their moms, really treated them like they were their children. They felt loved and secured in their home. Sometimes though, he can see his mom’s eyes get misty at the sight of them. He asked about it one time and she responded with, “You remind me of two boys I met.”

He didn’t ask anymore after that because it’s obvious it was a touchy subject. 

People from outside the village also visit too! Uncle Ranboo would always show them how to make potions. Aunt Niki would always give them pastries she made herself. Uncle Tubbo would always let them play with his pet bees. A winged man would come over every year, but they don’t talk to him that much. 

“Done!” he heard his twin 

He looked over and saw Ella pin the note on a tree. 

“C’mon let’s go!” she says excitedly as she pulls her twin to the path. He’s still unsure about doing this, betraying their parents' trust, but his curiosity with the secret house won and followed Ella.

Since the sun is still out, the path looks beautiful with how the light hits the path. With the flowers, it gives him some sort of happy and wholesome vibe. . 

They walked through the path until they saw a clearing in the distance. 

“Race ya,” he heard her say before speeding towards the clearing.

“You bonehead!” he shouts after her as he starts running. He hears his sister laugh, probably at him and his late start.

He knows his sister already reached the clearing after him, she knows that he isn’t as athletic as her. 

By the time he reached the clearing, he was gasping for breath. _Stupid non-athletic body_ , he curses at himself.

“Took you long enough,” he heard Ella say while he was still trying to catch his breath.

“You’re… more... athletic… than me... Of… course…. I will… take long,” he says in between breaths.

“Sure whatever grandpa.”  
  
“I’m literally… 5 minutes… younger… than you!”

“Those are lies and slander.”

He stopped arguing with his sister to get enough air into his stupid indoor body. Once he got enough air, he looked up and was slightly overwhelmed at the sight.

There was an old cottage, slightly covered by overgrown plants. It looks like it hasn’t been used in at least a decade. 

There were crop farms around, now growing wildly. The thing that caught his attention the most, is the vast amounts of flowers in one area. He looked at it more and realized that this was a garden before. 

He always had an interest in flowers. So seeing this wildly growing abundance of flowers, interested him.

“So, you want to go inside?” Ella asked. He looked at the cottage. Is it even stable at this age?

“Are you sure? It looks like it’s about to fall apart any minute now,” he said to his sister.

“I’m pretty sure it’s stable, I went inside the last time I was here,” she said too nonchalantly for his tastes.

“You what?! It might’ve fallen on you!”  
  
“So? It didn’t. Stop worrying too much, it’ll be fine.”

He was about to refute until he heard footsteps coming their way. He looked eyes with his sister and saw that she heard it too.

“House?”

“House,” he said begrudgingly.

They went inside the house and hid somewhere that gave them a clear view of the outside but doesn’t give them away.

They looked outside and saw it was their mom, Emily, in the clearing.

“Mom? What’s she doing here?” he whispered to his twin.

“No clue.” she whispered back. 

They saw their mom walk towards a non-descript grave (How did he not notice that before?). She sat in front of it and started talking, they can’t hear anything from inside the house though.

He sees Ella trying to get a closer look, but she bumped the table, making something fall over. The sound was apparently loud enough to grab the attention of their mom.

They see her walk towards the house. They start panicking silently which is a feat he didn’t think was possible for his twin.

They hear the door creak open. “Who’s in there?”

They still stay quiet, in hopes that their mom won’t catch them and get grounded. 

They hear the footsteps go closer until they see their mom staring straight at them. “Hey Mom,” they both said sheepishly.

“What are you doing here?” Uh oh, he knew that tone. They were in trouble.

“Ella found this place and dragged me with her to check it out,” he said quickly, cutting off his sister.

“I didn’t drag you here!” came his sister’s indignant shout.

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?” their mom asked before an argument broke out.

“Uhh... I kinda got impatient?” Ella said sheepishly.

Their mom sighed in exasperation, “Next time tell me if you found something, okay?”

They quickly nodded, not risking their mom’s wrath.

He wanted to ask about the grave but his sister beat him to it. “Whose grave were you visiting?”

That question seemed to make her freeze. He’s afraid that she would get mad but she just breathed out a sigh of resignation. 

“I think it’s time for you to know about your Uncle Tommy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Meanings:  
> Alliums - patience and humility  
> Dandelions - healing from both physical and emotional pain, overcoming hardship  
> Lilacs - confidence  
> Lavenders - serenity and calmness  
> Bright Purple - royalty and peace  
> Anemones - Considered a symbol of sickness in Egyptian and Chinese cultures. Associated with ill tidings in Japanese culture. A bad luck charm in Eastern culture. Considered protection against pests in European culture  
> Purple Anemones - protection  
> Red Anemones - death  
> Almond Blossoms - Promise and thoughtfulness  
> Butterfly weeds - Sad Remembrance, Hope from Sorrow, Let Me Go  
> Peace Lily - peace  
> White lilies - Good choice for funerals who died young  
> White Peruvian Lilies - friendship and devotion, enduring friendship. can say to a companion or loved one that you will always be there for them and that you trust in your lasting bond.  
> Pastel pink Roses - gratitude, grace and joy  
> light red gladioli - strength and integrity
> 
> That's all the meanings i have as of now. I hope you enjoyed this oneshot, especially you piteous. This will probably be the longest I've written for awhile. It also turned into a vent fic during the death scene and after. i'll be fine. Writing took too much time and effort than i expected but i pushed through for my giftee and potential readers. Hope you enjoyed!


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